Just a Dream
by Lily1986
Summary: Songfic based on song by Carrie Underwood. The aftermath of the Doomsday battle. Set in s9.


A.N: This has been circling my head for the last few days and I finally penned it today. Hope you like it. It's very angst and sad. I thought I'd take a shot at "Doomsday" based on spoilers.... This is about the aftermath of that battle though... and I made it so that it takes place a year from now, some time in season 9....

~*~

**Just a Dream**

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

She groggily opened her eyes and let them wander around the room. The familiar blue walls were supposed to relax her, but all they did was make her heart ache. She sat up slowly looking at the window to her left and the sun glaring through. How dare it actually shine today? She pulled her knees closer to her body and rested her chin on them.

Lois told herself she wouldn't cry, not today, but she felt her resolve crumbling and doubted even she could keep that promise.

A knock on the door caused her to lift her head and she saw her surrogate mother peek her head in.

"Lois, honey, you awake?"

She unsuccessfully wiped her face for any tears, and nodded, "Yes-yes Mrs. Kent."

Martha opened the door wider and saw the image of a broken girl on the bed.

"Oh honey", she said softly and walked closer to the bedside. She sat down on the edge and cupped the young woman's face, "Sweetie, you don't have to do this. I know how hard this is for you…"

Lois shook her head. "I can't not do this."

Martha nodded.

"Well, whenever you're ready", Martha said standing up and heading to the door.

"Martha?"

The red head turned back around.

"I'm so sorry…"

Martha smiled softy.

"I know", she nodded, "It wasn't your fault, so don't blame yourself."

Lois closed her eyes and single tear rolled down her cheek. Martha walked back to the bed and sat down pulling her closer to her.

"Oh sweetie", the said rubbing her back in soothing circles, "It's okay…"

Lois sobbed on her shoulder, until no more sounds came out. Martha pulled back and cupped her face in her hands.

"Let's get you dressed", she said softly and Lois nodded.

She allowed herself to be pulled from the bed slowly. She watched Martha open the closet and her eyes widened when she saw the dress hanging on the door.

"Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry, I meant to move that", Martha said quickly.

Lois shook her head as the memory invaded her mind.

_**It was two weeks after the day she turned 18  
all dressed in white, going to the church that night  
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat,  
six pence in her shoe  
something borrowed something blue**_

"_Clark, where are you taking me?"_

"_It's a surprise."_

"_I hate surprises."_

"_No you don't", he laughed at her._

"_I hate surprises that I have no clue about…"_

_He took her hand and held it up to his mouth kissing it._

"_You're going to love this one", he whispered sending a shiver down her spine._

_She smiled and nodded._

_He led her to the rooftop of the Daily Planet. He put his hand up covering her eyes and they shuffled towards the center of the floor and stopped._

"_You ready", he breathed into her ear._

"_Yeah", she smiled._

_He dropped his hands and her eyes widened at the table that was set up for two with twinkling lights surrounding it._

"_Smallville?"_

"_Come on", he said leading her to the table. He pulled out her chair for her and she sat down rolling her eyes._

"_You're such a gentleman, Smallville."_

"_You love it."_

_She laughed shaking her head._

"_So what's on the menu", she asked._

"_You're favorite", he said pulling back the tops on the plates, "My mom's country fried chicken, her mashed potatoes and green beans. I know you love it."_

"_How'd you get this here from Washington", she asked._

"_I cooked it Lois", he said feeling slightly offended._

"_Sorry", she said smiling. He was so cute when he was aggravated._

"_So how'd you do this", she asked._

"_Jimmy helped me", he shrugged._

_She nodded. _

"_Dig in", he smiled._

_She did just that and moaned when the first bite went in her mouth._

"_This is amazing", she said._

"_Thanks", he smiled. _

_They finished eating and he pulled out the dessert, another favorite of hers._

"_Okay, Smallville", she said when she saw he was cutting a piece of apple clustered pie, "What's the occasion?"_

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_The dinner, the romantic setting", she said looking suspicious, "What's going on?"_

_He sighed putting the plate in front of her. "I've got something to tell you…"_

"_Okay", she sat up bravely, "Hit me."_

_Clark laughed. _

"_What I'm about to tell you, I can't take back", he started, "There are no do over's."_

_She slid her hand across and placed it on top of his._

"_You can tell me anything, Clark."_

"_Lois, I'm not from around here…"_

"_You're from Smallville, Kansas."_

"_I'm not from anywhere near Kansas", he said, "I'm not even from anywhere near this galaxy…"_

"_What", she said sitting back, "You saying you're a… alien?"_

"_I prefer intergalactic traveler", he smiled shrugging._

"_Are you-"_

"_I'm the red blue blur…"_

"_Oh my God… all this time?"_

"_Yes."_

_She stood up and walked to the ledge._

"_Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_I didn't want to put you in danger-"_

"_Clark, we've been dating a year and you figured you just wouldn't mention your original birth place?"_

"_I'm sorry", he said._

"_Why now?"_

"_What?"_

"_Why are you telling me now? I mean something must have changed? Are you leaving? Going back?"_

"_What? No!"_

"_Then what the hell happened that you wanted to tell me now?!"_

"_I fell in love with you damnit!"_

_She stopped; looking into his eyes she smiled._

"_You love me?"_

"_Yes", he said exasperated and smiled._

_Then the smile fell from her face._

"_You love me?!"_

_He shook his head. Leave it to Lois Lane to get pissed at his admission._

"_And were you planning on telling me", she asked walking around him._

"_I thought I just did", he mumbled._

"_I mean love is a pretty big deal, you usually tell the person you love that you love them, but leave it to Clark Kent to keep that a secret too I mean…"_

"_Lois…"_

"_How many people knew about you loving me or about the intergalactic traveler thing and I mean what am I supposed to say to that… I know I love you too but still you kept this a secret how many more secrets do you have…."_

"_Marry me…"_

_She turned around._

"_What?!"_

_He pulled out a ring and smiled._

"_Marry me."_

_She let her mouth hang open._

"_Spend the rest of your life with me, Lois."_

_She let a smile grace her lips. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him._

"_Was this part of your plan the whole time?"_

"_What", he smiled loving that she'd caught on._

"_Get me mad and then propose so I wouldn't be expecting anything."_

"_My evil plan worked", he smirked._

"_I'd say so", she smiled and leaned in to kiss him, "Yes, Smallville, I will marry you."_

_**And when the church doors opened up wide she put her veil down trying to hide the tears oh  
she just couldn't believe it  
she heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hands**_

She looked around her and lowered her head. The white roses fell out of her hand. Chloe was at her side picking them up and Martha took her left hand in hers touching the ring on her fourth finger. She looked at the woman who she considered a mother from the moment she met her and noticed her still wearing her wedding band after all these years after her husband's death. Martha tried to smile but it wavered and Lois nodded understanding. She couldn't smile either.

"You ready?"

Lois turned to her right and saw Oliver standing there with Jimmy, clad in charcoal suits. She nodded slowly. Oliver pulled her into a hug, and wrapped she her arms around his torso.

"I'm sorry."

She nodded. It wasn't his fault either.

Oliver pulled away and let his arms drop from around her.

"It's time", Jimmy said softly.

She nodded.

"I just need a few minutes."

They all nodded and walked inside leaving her outside the doors.

_**Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream**_

_Lois sat on the couch in front of the fire place drinking a cup of coffee and looking at a wedding magazine. She took a sip from the cup and placed it back on the table, sitting back, when a hand covered her eyes._

"_Clark", she smiled putting the magazine down on her lap._

"_How'd you know", he said leaning in to kiss her head._

"_I'd recognize those hands anywhere", she smirked._

_He sat down next to her and looked at her left hand. The ring sitting on her slender finger glistened in the fire light._

"_What are you looking at", he eyed the magazine on her lap._

"_Wedding dresses", she said closing it quickly._

_He smirked._

"_Got any ideas yet", he said leaning in and taking it away from her._

"_Smallville, give it back!"_

_He moved it far behind him where she couldn't reach. _

"_So that's a yes", he stated more than asked._

"_Clark", she said sternly._

"_Just a peak", he tried pouting._

"_No", she said smiling, "You'll see it on the day I wear it."_

"_Speaking of dates, we haven't set one yet", he said giving her the magazine relenting._

"_I was thinking about that actually…"_

"_And", he asked._

"_How do you feel about September 22__nd__?"_

_He smiled. "The day we met?"_

"_Yeah", she smiled._

"_I like it", he nodded._

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah", he said kissing her forehead, "I'd marry you tomorrow but I know this is important to you."_

_She laughed._

"_Did we just set the date", she asked leaning in to him._

"_I think we did", he said leaning in to her and kissing her slowly._

"_I love you Clark."_

"_I love you."_

_**The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt  
then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard  
**_

She watched the preacher begin the sermon from the back on the church. Chloe and Martha were standing in the front row with their heads bowed, along with the handful of people who were also there.

Oliver stood up on the pulpit ready to give his eulogy.

_**then they handed her a folded up flag and  
she held on to all she had left of him oh and what could've been  
and then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart**_

She realized that someone was standing in front of her now. She recognized him, but couldn't remember his name. He handed her a tattered folded up red jacket and her eyes became watery with unshed tears once she recognized it.

"I took this from the scene, before anyone got there…"

Chloe had mentioned something about him being as fast as Clark, if not faster.

"Thank you", she said struggling to say the words.

"He was a real hero."

She looked into his eyes and nodded.

"He died a hero."

She let her tears fall remembering that day breaking her heart all over again.

"_But why does it have to be you?"_

"_Because I'm the only one who can", he said. _

"_But Clark… it can kill you…"_

"_Hey, I'm going to be fine", he smiled, "I have to do this… No one else can go up against this thing."_

"_I've got a bad feeling about this…"_

_He cupped her face._

"_I'm coming back", he said leaning his forehead against hers, "And I'm marrying you."_

_She nodded. _

"_Promise", she asked._

"_I promise."_

_She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in to kiss him._

"_I love you", he breathed when he pulled back._

_She let her arms fall from around his neck and her hands grasped the edges of his familiar red jacket._

"_I love you."_

She fingered the folded up jacket in her hands and smiled sadly. She looked up to see Oliver stepping off the podium, and looked below him to see the brown wood casket in the front. She looked around and for the first time saw who was actually there.

Just his closest friends could be there.

Just the ones who knew the truth about him could mourn with his immediate family.

It was most of their bridal party.

Even Lana Lang was standing next to Chloe with her head bowed. She let her eyes wander over the brunette remembering the day she returned.

_Lois opened the door of the farm house in her pajamas with her hair pulled up and red eyes. She didn't care that she looked like hell. She just wanted to get rid of whoever the uninvited guest was._

"_Hi."_

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_I heard, about Clark…"_

_Lois took a deep breath and nodded moving aside. _

_Her hair was a bit longer than when she'd seen her last, the day of Chloe's wedding over a year ago, but Lois would recognize her anywhere._

"_How'd you hear about it, Lana?"_

"_Chloe", the young woman in question answered, "I don't mean to impose…"_

"_You're not", Lois said quickly handing her a glass of water out of courtesy. _

_Lana noticed for the first time the ring on Lois' hand. Lois followed her gaze to her ring and she used her right hand to turn it._

"_I haven't taken it off. Actually, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to."_

"_Nobody expects you to, Lois", Lana said sadly._

"_He would have", Lois said sadly sitting on a stool._

_Lana sat down next to her and tentatively tried to place a hand on Lois' shoulder. She was finally able to, and she watched Lois breakdown._

_Lois stifled a laugh._

"_What is it", Lana asking letting a small smile grace her features._

"_I haven't let anyone see me cry", Lois looked at her sadly, "Til now…"_

_Lana pulled her in close._

"_I'm so sorry", Lana whispered._

"_Yeah me too", Lois said._

_Neither would voice it, but they both called a truce that day._

Lois bowed her head and walked towards the center of the room, where the casket was placed. She put her hand upon the closed lid and broke down, falling to her knees.

_**Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream**_

She felt arms snake around her and lift her up from the ground. She held on tighter to the red folded up jacket.

"Lois?"

She looked at the arms holding her up.

"Ollie…"

He shook his head sadly

"No", she sobbed trying to push him away.

He held on to her and then she felt other arms around her.

"Come on Lois."

"Chloe… he's not coming back..."

She nodded. "I know, Lo."

Chloe and Oliver half carried her out the doors with Martha walking behind them.

Lois closed her eyes feeling another memory hit her like a ton of bricks.

"_Clark?"_

_She saw a silhouette coming out of the smoke. He was battered and bleeding._

"_Clark!"_

_She ran up to him as he collapsed and placed herself under him to hold up. _

"_Clark", she said feeling her eyes water._

"_Lo-is…"_

"_You're going to be just fine, you hear me", she swallowed the tears, "Just fine…"_

_She pulled out her cell phone and realized for the first time how much blood was on her hands._

"_Oh my God", she sobbed, "Clark, hang on."_

"_Lois, is he…."_

"_He's dead, Clark", she said, "You killed him. You saved us."_

"_Goo-Good."_

"_Clark", she saw his eyes flutter close._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_For what", she said touching his bloody cheek._

"_For… to break… promise…"_

_She closed her eyes pulling his body closer to her._

"_No", she said, "You're not leaving me…"_

"_I'm-sorry…"_

_She let a sob escape and watched a tear fall on him._

"_I-… I love you."_

"_Clark…"_

_He closed his eyes and let his face fall to the side._

_She buried her face into his chest._

"_I love you too", she whispered._

She watched the casket being lowered into the ground. She looked to the left and felt more tears in her eyes reading the name JONATHAN KENT. Martha was next to her holding her hand. Lois dropped her hand and kneeled down to the ground picking up a handful of dirt in that same hand. She turned back into the open ground and let the dirt slip through her fingers over the brown casket. She closed her eyes and stood up watching the people around her filing out of the cemetery. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Lana, watching her and then lower her head. Her new friend dropped her hand and began to walk away from her.

Lois was left standing alone staring at the open field in front of her. She let the tears flow freely down her cheeks, now that she was truly alone.

_**Oh,Oh Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
(loudly) Ohh i'll never know  
It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream**_

_**Oh this is just a dream  
just a dream, oh**_

~*~

_Music used: Carrie Underwood "Just a Dream"_


End file.
